Fritto
Misto

squid / mussels / scallops

#Story
Time

‘Fritto Misto Di Pesce’, ‘Poisson Frit Mixte’, ‘Pescado Frito Mixto’, ‘Stad Air A Bhith Ri Feise Le Iasgor’ or simply, Mixed Fried Fish. God the English language is beautiful. I absolutely fucking love a mixed fried fish…(just does not sound the same? There is no beauty to it - Fritto Misto just has so much more fazzaz! It is definitely a dish of the sun, eating on a veranda or outside basking in the sun picking away at a platter of the best seafood you can get. It just does not really transpire to Scotland. We got the seafood, we got the fryers, but we only have that 5 day window where it gets above 15ºc and when that happens you’re papping out the BBQ and making shite burgers. This will always be one of my favourite things to eat, but it has to be in the right setting. What is there not to love? Great for sharing, incredibly tasty & super easy to make. Bit of milk, bit of a coating - fuck it in the fryer. Tada! Viva La Mixed Fried Fish. I recommend the 13th July.

Cam

A much cooler ‘Van Dyke’…

Handprints of Dick van Dyke in Hollywood Boulevard in the concrete of Chinese Theatre's forecourt.

Junk’s Jam:

Serves 2 or 4

Hey!

This will serve how ever many you want really, it depends on how much you like fried seafood? This would serve the two of us but we eat way fucking more than the average man or women so make it for the two of you but be ready to be full or have a good friend or two on standby to share.

Equipment…

>Deep Fat Fryer

The Recipe

Stage #1
>the PREP

The Fish

400g Mussles
100g White Wine
1 Fillet Seabass
4 Langoustines
2 Baby Squids (Cleaned)
8 Queen Scallops
1 Red Onion

2 Litres Water
20g Table Salt
500g Whole Milk

  • Cook off the Mussles in the White Wine, strain & cool.

  • Cook the Langos in boiling Salted Water for 1 1 minute 30 seconds. Remove from the water and cool.

  • Separate the tails and the claws of the Langos. Carefully remove the meat from the shells and ditch them. Reserve the meat.

  • Crack open the Queen Scallops, discard the roe and skirts.

  • Slice the Bass Fillet into 6 or 7 pieces, depending on the size.

  • Separate the heads & tentacles of the Squid.

  • Slice the Red Onion into rings.

  • Place everything into a large bowl and cover in Milk. Leave to soak for at least an hour.

 
 

The Coating

200g Polenta
30g Crushed Cool Doritos
100g Plain Flour
1 Tbsp Dried Oregano
1 Tsp Cracked Black Pepper

Maldon Salt

  • Mix everything together.

  • Set aside until you’re ready to go!

 
 

Garlic & Squid Ink Mayonnaise

140g Hellmans Mayonnaise
1 Garlic Clove
10g Squid Ink
1/2 Lemon Juice
1/2 Sheet Nori

By now you have seen all the different ways of making mayonnaise and i’m pretty sure you’re sick of it? Why so much mayonnaise? WHY? Because mayonnaise is class unless you are our friend T-bone. So just buy some Hellman’s Mayo and mix it up. If you’re making all the mayonnaise on this website you’re going to have so so so much left over mayonnaise. If you really want to make it fresh then look at one of the other recipes for the base of a mayo and add in the other shit - egg, mustard, vinegar is the base, add oil and crack on. Don’t like it send us an email with your complaints. Cheers.

 
 

VANDYKE THAT LEMON

1 Lemon
1 Van Dyke
1 Knife

  • Take one Knife, one Van Dyke & one Lemon and mix them all together. Excellent you are now a wanker.

  • Show off to all your friends how fantastic you are.

  • Leave the 1970s.

  • Buy a new Lemon.

  • Cut said Lemon in half.

  • Reserve.

 
 

Garnish

1 Green Chilli
1 Spring Onion

  • Slice the Chili and remove the seeds.

  • Slice the Spring Onion at an angle.

Stage #2
>Cook it baby!

 

  • Preheat your deep fryer to 190ºc.

  • Remove the Seafood Mix from the Milk & place into the Coating. Repeat until everything is fully coated.

  • Fry in batches (2-3 Minutes) and drain on Kitchen Paper.

  • Season with Maldon Sea Salt

Stage #3
>Assemble