Chups!
Beer / Onion / Thyme
#Story
Time
Chips!
Chaps!
Chups!
The universal standard of food!
Anywhere you go in the world I can guarantee, I would put my life savings on it - currently sitting at a grand total of £8.35, that there will be chips of some guise on the menu in the local restaurant.
There is a reason for it! We fucking love them!
I’m not talking about ‘French fries” we will get to that one in another post. I'm talking about CHIPS. Big, chunky, British standard, chips. Crispy on the outside, soft and fluffy in the middle, an absolute stereotype of a wanker Cheffy’ prick thing to say, but thats what we’re all after. I fucking hate soggy chips. I hate chips that are not done right, they’re not hard to do! Take the time and do them properly. It’s not just about fucking them into a deep fat fryer. It’s not ‘Chippie Chips’ - I hate them too, never crispy! Pub chips - always shite. Chips from the takeaway - garbage. Like a caesar salad and a decent Breakfast, getting a plate full of really well made good chips. Fucking impossible!
Cam
Junk’s Jam:
Serves 2
Hey!
We’re not doing anything new here. it’s all about using the right potatoes and the right method. A lot of different kitchens have a lot of different preparations.
This one works at home! it’s quite like the triple cooked process, but not as complex. We’ve got a small kitchen and it still works well , albeit, it can be a messy wee bastard.
Equipment…
>Deep Fryer
>Blender
>Colander
The Recipe
Stage #1
>The Prep
Totties
5 Large Albert Bartlett Rooster Potatoes
Maldon Salt
2kg Beef Dripping/Groundnut Oil
Peel and cut your Potatoes into decent sized wedges.
Place into a large bowl, enough to hold all the chips, and cover with cold water (Keep the tap running for 5-10 minutes, moving the Totties every couple of minutes).
Put the Potatoes into a large pot, cover with cold water, and fuck in a good amount of salt.
Put your pot on a high heat and cook the Potatoes til’ soft, 5 minutes or so, before falling apart.
Drain in a colander and let them steam dry for 5 minutes
Give them a little shoogle, place them onto a baking tray, and put them in the fridge for 20 minutes.
Preheat the fryer to 140ºc, (Preferably using Beef Dripping as it has the best flavour - Melt it down in a pot before adding to the fryer).
If you have no access to Beef Dripping or you’re a Vegetarian, get some Groundnut Oil and use that, pick some up from you’re local fancy shop like Waitrose and the like!
Cook the Chips for 10 minutes, until there looks like there is a little skin on the surface.
Bring them up, leaving to cool in the basket for 30 minutes.
Stout Mayo
1 Bottle of Dark, heavy flavoured, Stout
> (Profanity Stout is Class)
1 Egg Yolk
1 Egg
15g French Mustard
15g Malt Vinegar
5g Dark Soy Sauce
500g Vegetable OilTable Salt
Lemon Juice
Pour your Beer into a pot much larger the you need - it will foam up like a motherfucker!
On a medium to high heat, reduce the Beer down to 25 ml, it will taste very bitter and strong, pretty much unpalatable. Leave to one side.
Place your Egg, extra Yolk, Vinegar, Mustard and Stout Reduction into a blender. Once mixed together, very slowly in a long and continuous stream pour in the Oil. If everything has went according to plan it will look like a mayonnaise!
Once fully incorporated season with Salt and a little bit of Lemon Juice to taste.
Pickled Red Onion
1 Red Onion
150g Malt Vinegar
150g Sugar
100g Water
10g Table Salt
Peel and slice the Onion into thin rings.
Take the membrane off of the Onion Rings too, and place into a container.
Place the rest of the ingredients into a pot and bring to the boil.
Pour your pickle mix over the Rings and leave to cool.
Deep Fried Thyme
15g Fresh Thyme
Maldon Salt
Preheat the fryer to 180ºc.
Drop in the Thyme and fry for 5 seconds. Lift and drain.
Season with Maldon Salt and shape into a small sphere type shape.
Stage #2
>Cook it baby!
Crank up the fryer to 190ºc and fry the Chips again. They will colour a lot more quickly this time so keep a close eye.
Take them out the fryer and drain.